Ukraine Cheers ‘Productive’ Talks as Russia, US Rehearse Cold War Sequel in Riyadh
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The latest round of diplomatic theater is underway as the U.S., Ukraine, and Russia converge on Riyadh to negotiate a ceasefire that everyone knows won’t hold. Ukraine hailed its discussions with the U.S. as “productive and focused,” which, in diplomatic terms, means “we still have no idea what’s happening, but at least the coffee was good.”
Donald Trump, now back in the White House and speedrunning diplomacy like a man late for his golf tee time, is eager to end the war in record time. His plan? A “full-on” ceasefire, or at least something that looks good on Fox News. Meanwhile, the Kremlin remains about as enthusiastic as a cat being forced into a bathtub, warning of “difficult negotiations” ahead.
In a bid to ensure the negotiations remain extra inefficient, U.S. and Russian officials are meeting separately, in what experts are calling “shuttle diplomacy, but with extra layovers.” The main sticking points? Ukraine wants peace; Russia wants Ukraine to stop existing; and the U.S. wants a headline that says “Trump Solves War.”
As the world waits for this diplomatic soap opera to drag on, fresh drone attacks continue across both Ukraine and Russia. If nothing else, this proves that while ceasefire talks are ongoing, so is the war.
