Mariah Carey Wins Copyright Case, Proves She Owns Christmas
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Mariah Carey has officially sleighed the courts, emerging victorious in a copyright battle over her festive empire. A U.S. judge dismissed allegations from songwriter Adam Stone, who claimed Carey had ripped off his totally-not-famous 1989 song, also titled All I Want for Christmas Is You.
Stone, performing under the stage name Vince Vance (because Adam Stone was apparently too mainstream), insisted Carey had exploited his "popularity"—a bold claim, considering most people only learned his name because of this lawsuit. Seeking a Christmas miracle in the form of $20 million in damages, he instead got hit with legal bills after the judge ruled his arguments were "frivolous" and filled with "incomprehensible mixtures of factual assertions and conclusions"—or in layman’s terms, nonsense.
Judge Almadani sided with expert testimony, confirming that the two songs were about as similar as Jingle Bells and Bohemian Rhapsody. Musicologists found at least 19 earlier tracks with the same title and similar lyrics, reinforcing the shocking revelation that Christmas songs tend to feature mistletoe, Santa, and festive clichés.
With this ruling, Carey maintains her undisputed title as the Queen of Christmas, while Stone walks away with nothing but legal fees and a cautionary tale about challenging a woman who literally defrosts every December to claim her seasonal throne.
